


Crap is not a Color

by Shadoow (Chikita)



Series: Haikyuu Omo Stuff (English) [9]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkwardness, College Setting, Desperation, Gen, Iwaizumi is worried but also done, Oikawa is whiny and shameless, Omorashi, Pee, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Volleyball Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-07 20:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20315719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chikita/pseuds/Shadoow
Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi just wanted to spend the first day of their free weekend together relaxing and doing fun things after a long time of being separated by their respective colleges. All goes well until their last train runs late and Oikawa is a bit too petty about public bathrooms. Read: Oikawa needs to pee on a subway train and Iwaizumi loses a few years of his life.





	Crap is not a Color

**Author's Note:**

> This is the #cursed fic. It's cursed. I blame Ushiwaka because he's always to blame for everything bad that happens to Oikawa (joke lol)
> 
> Exactly what it says in the tags. Read at your own risk.

The night was silent, almost eerily so. Usually, Tokyo was one of those cities that never slept, but this specific subway station was different. Other than the flickering light coming from display boards and emergency exit signs, the whole place seemed dead and void of any sounds from the outside world. Iwaizumi had always liked this part of the city, which made him feel a little more at home after growing up in a more rural environment. It was a nice escape from the daily hustle and bustle of life he and his fellow students had to get used to after moving to the big city for college. The quietness was calming, almost tranquilizing.

_Well..._

Except for the constant tapping of shoes on the concrete floor, occasional sighing and huffing next to him and- Seriously, Oikawa,_ how can an almost twenty-year-old be such a baby?_ It wasn’t like Iwaizumi hadn’t told him that downing a whole bottle of coke at their last stop was rather...unwise. At least when they had a few hours worth of train rides to endure before both of them would arrive at Iwaizumi’s flat where they wanted to spend the night.

“Iwa-chan! Why does the train have to be late _now_ of all times?”, the anticipated wailing came and Iwaizumi rolled his eyes so hard, he feared they were going to fall out of his head. It was late, and he didn’t want the rest of their day to be tainted by Oikawa’s childish nagging. Of course, he was exhausted after all the, admittedly fun things they had done on the first Saturday they had together after being separated for _weeks_ by college studies, side jobs, and other adult responsibilities. But Oikawa was Oikawa, and he wasn’t going to let his best friend give him the cold shoulder without a payback.

“Don’t even _try it,_ Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi said with a warning note in his voice, “We passed a bathroom literally five minutes ago and another one at our last stop after you had that coke. I’m not going to pity you.” Oikawa scowled at him, making an effort to look as offended as possible, before continuing to squirm on the spot.

“You’re mean,” he said, pouting, “Have you seen those bathrooms? They’re filthy.” Iwaizumi almost laughed, but that would only serve to offend Oikawa even _more,_ and he was way too tired to deal with one of his friend’s tantrums when it was close to midnight and pitch-black outside, save for the waning moon. He just wanted to get home, maybe watch something on tv and then go to bed without having to bear his friend’s sore mood for the rest of the night.

“To answer your question, _yes,_ I’ve been to bathrooms on train stations before and they’re not nearly as bad as you make them out to be. And, even if they _were_, you’re not a girl. You don’t have to sit down, _hell,_ you don’t even have to_ touch_ anything,” he said, hoping that it would maybe convince his friend to just go to the freaking toilet and relief himself before his bladder was going to burst. The latter wasn’t unlikely since he had been muttering and whining about needing to pee for the whole walk to the station. It would have to be pretty bad now, especially since the last time Iwaizumi had seen him go was at the cinema, right before the movie's climax, after drinking a bucket-sized cup of soda.

That was hours ago. And if he was especially unlucky, the soda hadn’t completely filtered through his system yet when he had sneaked, or rather ran off to the bathroom back then. That on top of the coke bottle sounded like a disaster waiting to happen.

“They’re still filthy.” Oikawa answered, wrinkling his nose in a way that was both endearing and _annoying,_ “Just thinking about walking in there makes me want to throw up.” Iwaizumi eyed him with worry. The way his friend was shifting on the spot, thighs pressed together and hands nervously clutching at the strap of his bag didn't make him look like someone who could hold it through the entirety of the train ride, let alone the walk to his flat.

He longed to say something, he really did. But then again, Oikawa was an adult. If he wanted to be an idiot about this, _well_, he couldn’t stop him. He just hoped that everything would turn out alright in the end. Knowing, that soft drinks of all kinds tended to go right through Oikawa, however, didn’t ease his worries in the slightest.

\---

The train they were expecting took its sweet time on this chilly autumn night. They had been waiting for about twenty minutes now and Iwaizumi was starting to get antsy, but for a wholly different reason than Oikawa. If the impossible happened and their train ended up being canceled, they would have to call a taxi, for which neither of them had enough money. Walking wasn’t really an option either. Not to mention that Oikawa would have an issue with that as well, seeing how he had been squirming and pacing around nonstop since their arrival at the station.

Iwaizumi couldn't deny that his friend's petty behavior could get a little irritating at times, or maybe a lot. But at least he was honest about his needs around him, instead of wearing that sickly sweet, eye twitch-inducing "I'm fine"-mask he always loved to hide behind whenever they were in public.

“Ohh, this sucks. First I miss the end of the movie and now this. I think the universe hates me,” Oikawa groaned, as he stopped squirming for a second to bend over, fists rubbing over the fabric of his pant legs, “Must be Ushiwaka’s revenge for the match last week. I bet he’s still salty about-_argh_, you should have seen his face when Kuroo stuffed that spike of his. He’s a _demon_ I’m telling you! He probably put some kind of curse on me and now you're in it, too.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Iwaizumi groaned at his friend’s tendency to make up conspiracy theories whenever something bad happened to him, most of them involving one of his old rivals from high school, “Ushiwaka didn’t make you drink a bunch of sugary shit and he’s definitely not possessing the rail traffic. You’re giving him too much credit.”

“I’m not giving that jerk anything but my utmost disdain,” Oikawa said, his breath coming out in a huff, and suddenly froze, eyes wide and staring straight ahead as if he had _actually_ seen Ushijima’s spirit manifesting out there on the tracks. Iwaizumi was just about to open his mouth when Oikawa suddenly straightened up again with a small whimper, turning towards him and thrusting his bag into Iwaizumi’s hands without warning.

“You know what?”, he said, sounding out of breath, “You’ve convinced me. I’m gonna use that filthy thing over there because I’m going _insane_ if I can’t go pee anywhere in the next five minutes.” Sighing at his friend’s propensity to exaggerate, Iwaizumi took the shopping bag, that was filled with all kinds of weird merchandise for the new Star Wars movie they’ve been to, and nodded. He didn’t miss the way Oikawa’s hand flew down to his crotch for a quick squeeze, before the latter bolted off without saying another word...

...just in time for the noise of squeaking brakes making itself known, and Iwaizumi barely had a second to spin around, chase after Oikawa, grab his arm and pull him back towards the train tracks.

“Iwa-chan, what the hell?”, Oikawa started whining in an instant, struggling against the grip, even though he knew well enough that nobody could beat Iwaizumi when it came to arm strength. Iwaizumi would have explained to him, why it was crucial to get on this train, because it was the last one for the day and he was neither looking forward to the walking option, nor spending the night in the great undergrounds, but there wasn’t any time for long-winded explanations.

Ignoring Oikawa’s vocal complaints, he dragged him along like some kind of stubborn dog on a leash and only let go of his wrist once they were both inside the empty carriage with the door safely shut behind them. Iwaizumi breathed out a sigh of relief and grabbed one of the handrails as the train started moving right after, a computer voice signaling him, that this was, in fact, the train Iwaizumi usually took to get home on the weekends.

“That was close. We almost missed it,_ fuck...”_ Iwaizumi breathed out and turned to his friend, who in turn, shot him the deadliest glare he had ever seen on the other man’s face in all the years they’ve known each other. Fourteen years to be exact. They were childhood friends after all. But looking at Oikawa now, it seemed like he didn’t even _want_ to be his friend anymore.

“Look, I’m sorry, but that was our last train. You had plenty of time to go before, so don’t look at me like I murdered your family,” he said in his usual gruff voice, and just as he’d expected, Oikawa’s expression turned from pissed off (pun not intended) to miserable until he seemed to regain his composure and just pouted. Not like anyone else his age would do, _no,_ the whole deal with furrowed brows and lower lip sticking out as if he was five again.

Iwaizumi followed him with his eyes as he stubbornly turned away from him without saying another word and slumped down onto one of the window seats to his left. Iwaizumi could only shake his head at the sight of his friend looking out of the window with feigned interest as if he was viewing some kind of beautiful landscape when there was literally nothing out there but darkness.

Now that he looked more closely, he saw Oikawa’s right leg jiggling in place and when Iwaizumi sat down next to him, it was almost as if the whole seat was vibrating. He gulped, chest tight with worry. This wasn’t good. But surely, it couldn’t be _that_ urgent, right?

“By the way, we have to switch trains in forty minutes and there’s a bit of transfer time,” he said, trying to keep his voice calm so as to not agitate Oikawa even more, “The next station will probably have bathrooms too. I can’t promise you, that they’re gonna meet your impossibly high standards for cleanliness, but-”

“I don't care about how clean they are!”, Oikawa interrupted his speech and glared at him again, his facial expression a mix of anger and desperation, hands crawling up his thighs, “I wanted to go because I couldn’t take it anymore, and now you’re telling me I have to wait_ forty minutes?_ Iwa-chan, I can’t wait forty minutes!”

“Of course you can! Don’t be a baby!”, Iwaizumi snapped before realizing, that calling Oikawa that would only make it worse, “Forty minutes aren’t that long. That’s as long as a school lesson and as far as _I know_, you’ve never pissed yourself in class back then.” Oikawa didn't answer, just crossed his legs with a grimace and turned his eyes back towards the window.

Iwaizumi avoided mentioning, that he had experienced a few close calls in middle school himself because his stupid prick of a math teacher would never let_ anyone_ go during a lesson, no matter how urgent it was, but he highly doubted that mentioning that would make his friend feel any better.

One thing he knew about Oikawa was, that he had a tendency to overreact and obsess over things, like that one time where he had been convinced to have caught some kind of infectious disease from Kageyama at a training camp. Back then, he had stressed about it so much, that he’d actually ended up sick in bed for the last two days of the event. Oikawa’s psyche was a fragile little thing and even though he was a monster on the court, his tendency to self-destruct was something he sadly never really managed to get rid off.

“About that last practice match, you never really told me how it went,” Iwaizumi tried to start a casual conversation, something that always worked with Oikawa, “I only know the end results and that whole thing with Kuroo blocking Ushijima. What else happened? Something unusual? Did Bokuto do something weird again?”

Iwaizumi almost chuckled when Oikawa’s face predictably lightened up with interest and even though he was still shaking his legs like crazy, at least he was willing to occupy his mind with something else than his bladder. He always enjoyed gossiping after all.

_Even if it had to be about volleyball again._

“Okay, so Kuroo and Bokuto were _amazing _during the first set, well, until Bokuto had one of his meltdowns. Then everything went to shit with him, but we managed to compensate. My tosses are still as precise as they were in high school, so it’s no surprise we caught them off guard a few times,” he said so casually, that Iwaizumi, once again, couldn’t keep himself from rolling his eyes. But Oikawa wasn’t finished yet, waving his hand in the air as he continued.

“You should've been there. We trashed them _so good. _It was so satisfying to see Ushiwaka’s team lose after they’ve wiped the floor with us so many times in high school. And Kuroo might just be the best middle blocker I’ve ever played with. I can’t believe we never ran into each other before college.”

“Yeah, you...talk about him a lot,” Iwaizumi said, trying his hardest to hide the bitterness in his voice, "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're happy with your new team." That didn't come out the way he had intended to, but he definitely wasn’t jealous of Kuroo, or Bokuto, or any of Oikawa’s new friends at college. He had his own team and they were strong enough, and it wasn’t like Oikawa constantly talked about them outside of volleyball conversations anyway.

“I am. But, I still miss you,” Oikawa said then, unexpected, startling Iwaizumi out of his thoughts.

_Oh no. Not this again._

It was frustrating how quickly Iwaizumi face heated up at his friend’s earnest words and even though he had told himself multiple times that it was pointless, what Oikawa said hit a spot somewhere. They were supposed to be over their separation angst by now, but Iwaizumi couldn’t help the conflicted feelings welling up inside him at Oikawa’s “confession”, making his stomach flutter and painfully clench at the same time.

“Come on, why would you miss me? We’re both in Tokyo and it’s not like we never see each other outside of college classes. We’re spending the whole weekend together if you haven’t noticed,” Iwaizumi said, pretending to be unaffected by Oikawa's sappiness when he was in fact, very much affected.

“It’s not the same and you know it,“ Oikawa answered with a sigh, fiddling with his hands and Iwaizumi was afraid he would actually start crying this time, as depressed as he looked all of sudden. So much for Bokuto being the one with mood swings.

“Kuroo and all the others are cool and strong and _skilled,_ but it feels weird without you on my team. We only ever meet on the court as opponents.”

Iwaizumi was aware of that last fact, but hearing it from Oikawa himself kinda stung. Volleyball, after being their shared passion for years, had become a bit of a...difficult topic for them to talk about.

“Well, neither of us is going to switch colleges, but I suppose we could meet up for a few practice matches on our off days," Iwaizumi said, "We just need more players, but that won’t be an issue. I’ll just ask some of the guys in my study group. It won’t be _exactly_ the same as in high school, but it's something.” His words were supposed to be uplifting, _encouraging,_ but for some reason, Oikawa still seemed distressed, his jaw tense and...was he even paying attention to him?

“How long?”, he suddenly asked out of nowhere, voice thick with something that could very well be anxiety. He was frowning again, hands clenched into fists over his crossed legs, knees bouncing rapidly and Iwaizumi could have sworn, that he had never seen his friend look so tense and jittery.

“As long as we want to? It’s not like either of us is going to graduate the next months, and even then, what are you worrying about?", Iwaizumi asked back, dumbfounded by Oikawa's strange question, “Of course, we need to be careful about not breaking any bones and stuff, but it's our free time, we can do whatever. We're not kids anymore.” Just then, Oikawa started glaring at him again, as if Iwaizumi was the one not making any sense here.

“No, I mean how long until we get to the station?" Oikawa hissed through clenched teeth, rocking on his seat in a way that made all of Iwaizumi's alarm bells ring at the same time, "It feels like my bladder's about to explode.”

_Oh. _

Iwaizumi had nearly forgotten about that other issue, but it made sense that Oikawa hadn't. _Shit._ Stomach clenching with guilt, Iwaizumi pulled out his phone to check the time. They still had at least twenty minutes to go, which seemed doable, but when he took a glance at the railway schedule on his app, his heart sunk.

“It’s less than ten minutes, right?”, Oikawa asked, who must have read his expression, a hint of panic in his voice, “Please tell me it’s less than ten minutes! I’m literally dying here.”

“Maybe fifteen,” Iwaizumi lied, but this wasn’t even the problem. Due to their current train being late, their transfer time would be cut short to about two minutes. Enough to run across the station and catch their last train, but definitely not enough for a badly needed bathroom break.

The whole situation would end up mirroring the one ten minutes ago, with Iwaizumi dragging a fussing Oikawa behind him and hoping, that he wouldn’t hate him for all eternity. Another thirty minutes to their last station, ten minutes home if their streak of bad luck continued and the bathrooms were out of order or something. And Oikawa was _already_ losing his mind.

“Ahh, Iwa-chan, I really have to go. This is the worst!” Oikawa proved him right just then, grabbing himself with one hand, kneading his crotch and squirming until his left knee bumped into Iwaizumi’s, “I don’t want to wait anymore. This is horrible! Why do you have to live on the other end of the city?” Iwaizumi wanted to remind him, that he wouldn’t have this problem if he stopped being so petty and _ridiculous_ about bathrooms, but Oikawa looked genuinely upset. He was probably regretting his bad choices already, so there was no need to be an insensitive jerk about it.

"You're gonna be fine," was the only thing he could think of to say, but he knew more than anyone else, that those were nothing but empty words. Oikawa just gave him the stink eye and awkwardly re-crossed his legs, hand still wrenched between them.

Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes until they would arrive at the station and Iwaizumi knew what he had to do, even if the thought distressed him. Oikawa was at a point where appealing to his reasonable side wouldn’t work anymore. They would just end up fighting, losing valuable time and still miss their last train in the end. There was only one thing for him to do once they got there.

Grab Oikawa by the wrist and_ run._

\---

Catching the last train had been a struggle as expected, especially with Iwaizumi having to drag a certain someone behind him who had started screaming bloody murder once he realized they weren’t heading straight for the restrooms. It wasn’t as if Iwaizumi was proud of tricking him like that, but there was no way he was going to sleep in a subway station,_ thank you very much! _He had a bed at home, not to mention central heating and warm water, everything a run-down subway station didn’t have.

About ten minutes had passed and that was enough for Iwaizumi to at least somewhat calm his own breathing after the strenuous exercise he'd just put himself through. Apparently, Oikawa could muster up amazing resistance when he didn’t want to go somewhere. Ten minutes since the train's department and he hadn’t said a word since then. No whining, no complaining about needing to pee, no getting angry at him, nothing.

Instead, he just cowered on the seat next to him with his face turned towards the window, breathing heavily and holding himself as if his life depended on it. He wasn’t talking to him anymore and that was alarming enough, but what bothered Iwaizumi the most was that he wasn't even making_ eye-contact._ Iwaizumi wanted to believe that Oikawa was just acting up, trying to make him feel sorry for dragging him away from the bathroom for the second time. If that was the case, things would be easier. But things were _never _that easy with Oikawa...

“Look, this whole thing sucks, I get it,” Iwaizumi tried to appease the situation and ease his own guilt at the same time, “But once we get off this train, you can go take a leak somewhere and _then _we’ll head home and watch that dreadful alien movie you love so much.”

Iwaizumi’s blood froze when Oikawa didn’t even look up at _that._ Okay, maybe he wasn’t that good of an actor. Before Iwaizumi could think about whether it was fair to assume that Oikawa was only playing up his need to get back at him, a choked sob brought him back to his senses.

“No! No no no, we’re not doing that! Quit it, or I’ll punch you!”, Iwaizumi panicked, as Oikawa finally looked over at him, eyes glazed over and brimming with tears. He was trembling and from what he could tell, close to having some kind of nervous breakdown. Over volleyball, he could at least understand, but over _peeing?_ Who even gets that worked up about something silly like that?

_Well, it was Oikawa..._

“Iwa-chan!”, Oikawa whimpered and there wasn’t even a single accusative note in his voice, just pure unfiltered anguish, “I swear, I’m not gonna make it to the station. I’m gonna wet myself and ruin our evening because I'm stupid, and you'll be _disgusted_ with me and not want to sleep next to me anymore and I-”

“Shut up!”, Iwaizumi snapped, successfully breaking through his friend’s self-deprecative rambling, “You know this is nothing but bullshit. I won’t _ever _think you’re disgusting, and you’re not going to wet yourself either. You’re an adult, and it’s just twenty more minutes. You’ll make it.” He wanted to add that Oikawa being stupid was nothing new to him, so he had no reason to be self-conscious about it all of sudden, but he stopped himself in time.

Oikawa only sniffled in response, shook his head violently and went back to clawing at the crotch of his jeans in a motion that could only ever be described as frantic. A few minutes ago things had seemed fairly okay, but being denied for the second time in a row must have triggered his nerves into sending some fucked up signals to his brain. Or maybe he needed to go worse than he'd thought. Something told him that the latter was more likely.

Either way, Iwaizumi had to help. He had to come up with something, _anything_ to distract his friend, get him to calm down and stop freaking out, but he couldn’t imagine him being up for another round of volleyball gossip with how the first one had ended. He seemed upset enough already.

“Hey, Tooru,” Iwaizumi said in a gentler tone than before, getting the other man’s attention with just the use of his given name, “You remember those dreadful bus rides back in elementary school?”

“Um...yeah?”, Oikawa muttered under his breath, eyebrows crinkling, “You puked all the time. It was gross.” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. Of course, he would remember _that_ out of all things, even though it was more than ten years ago. He still thought the bus driver should have been fired for his horrible driving, but then again, he had been the only one in their class to get motion sickness on a daily basis.

“So...there was this game we always played on the bus,” Iwaizumi continued, glad that Oikawa was actually listening to him instead of ignoring him and freaking out about having to pee, “I don't remember what it was called, but it was something with...naming colors and stuff?”

“I spy with my little eye?”, Oikawa asked, voice still quivering but hey, he was focusing on something else than his bladder for once and that was _good. _It gave them something to work with.

“Yes, that one! Let’s play that!”, Iwaizumi decided, only for Oikawa to start crumbling again.

“Iwa-chan, no! I won’t be able to concentrate,” he complained, rocking his hips forward as if he was trying to grind against the edge of the seat, “I can’t play games right now! How can I play games when I’m about to burst any second? I really have to go, it's _way _worse than it was at the cinema!”

“Calm down, it’s a kids game, not algebra,” Iwaizumi huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, feigning confidence as Oikawa’s words, or rather the way said them, triggered his own anxiety, “Maybe it helps to take your mind off it. It always worked for _me _when I was sick back then.” Well, at least for five minutes until the driver had taken the next sharp turn. But maybe his friend would be more receptive, given that it used to be one of Oikawa’s favorite games to pass the time when they were kids.

“Um...okay,” Oikawa said in a broken voice, sounding sceptical but he was playing along, _trusting him,_ and this was all Iwaizumi could expect from him at the moment, “You start.”

“Alright. I spy with my little eye something...” Iwaizumi’s eyes fell on one of the plastic grab handles hanging from the ceiling, “...black.” This was an easy one.

“The seats?”

“No.”

“The window frames?”

“No.”

“The sky outside?”

“Good one, but no,” Iwaizumi sighed in annoyance when Oikawa started listing _everything _but the handles dangling right in front of them, some things he probably just made up on the spot. Maybe he had been right and his full bladder was indeed messing with his concentration, but how could a college student suck _that hard _at a game for preschoolers?

“I dunno!”, Oikawa gasped after another row of failed attempts, writhing in his seat, “The pits of your soul? Maybe your jacket?”

“Haha, very funny. Also, my jacket is brown, are you even trying?”, Iwaizumi asked, a rhetorical question because Oikawa wasn’t even looking at him anymore, just staring ahead, trembling and grabbing his crotch again. He wasn’t getting through him, at least not like that.

“I’m sorry, but I really can’t concentrate!”, Oikawa choked out and now he actually looked like he was about to start breaking into tears, “I have to go so bad, I can’t think about anything else. I want to get off the train. I want to get off the train and pee somewhere, I can’t wait, _I can’t!”_

“The handles!”, Iwaizumi blurted out.

“What?”

“It’s the handles. Your turn! Go on, ask me something!”, Iwaizumi almost yelled, losing the rest of his cool, but he couldn’t help it. He had to find a way to keep his friend busy for the last few minutes before his mental state got even worse. They would arrive at the station soon enough but until then, they had to keep playing.

Oikawa took a deep, unsteady breath next to him and even though he was already falling apart, continued their game in a strained voice.

“I spy with my little eye, something..._ah crap!_” He was doubling over the very next moment, sweat dripping down his temples and hands jammed between his crushed thighs.

“Crap is not a color!”, Iwaizumi panicked again.

“Brown! Something brown!”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi said, frantically looking around the train for something remotely brown, but there wasn’t anything that came even _close_ having that color, except...“My jacket?”

Oikawa nodded with his eyes clenched shut, trembling all over and twisting his ankles in a way that actually looked painful. Okay, this was getting ridiculous. Stirred up by his failed attempts to offer some kind of distraction, Iwaizumi picked up his phone again, almost losing his grip and dropping it with how much his own hands were shaking.

_Ten minutes. Ten fucking minutes._

Iwaizumi gulped against the lump in his throat. Ten minutes wasn’t a terribly long time but with Oikawa already so close to his limit_,_ even two minutes would have been too much. Iwaizumi didn’t want to believe it, but even though they had seen each other desperate many times before, it had never been like _that._ He had never felt like either of them was seconds away from actually losing control. It had never occurred to him to even _consider_ that possibility. Not even when they were kids.

“Aahh, Iwa-chan, please, I'm _trying,_ I’m almost- I don't want to wet myself!”, Oikawa cried out next to him, sweating, back arching and grabbing his crotch so hard as if he wanted to clamp everything shut with just his hands. That method was bound to fail at some point, but Oikawa was stubborn, he wasn't one to simply give in to his needs, even if there wasn’t any way for him to win. Even if he ended up hurting himself.

“We’re almost there, just...just try to hold on! Or not, _fuck it,_ it’s okay either way!” Iwaizumi's heart ached at the thought, that he was at least partially responsible for getting Oikawa into this agonizing, potentially humiliating situation if things went wrong all the way. What kind of friend was he even? In hindsight, Iwaizumi would have rather spent the night sleeping on a random bench outside than watching his childhood friend put himself through that.

They stayed like this for a while with Iwaizumi at his wit’s end, reciting empty words of comfort, that weren’t getting through because Oikawa was _that_ far gone. He wasn’t even listening anymore, only jerking his hips and whispering prayers under his breath that surely weren’t directed at Iwaizumi, because there was nothing he could _do._ What do you do in a situation like that? Pull the emergency break? Tell Oikawa to just piss on the floor and call it a day? Neither of those options were even _legal_.

Aside from the worry and regret, anger started boiling in the pit of Iwaizumi’s stomach. It was a true shame that the train didn’t have any facilities and since it wasn’t stopping until its final destination, they couldn’t just get out and find somewhere else to go either, not even some dark corner in the tunnel. They would have to wait no matter what, and as absurd as it sounded, Iwaizumi felt like Oikawa _couldn’t. _

He had to think of something. He had to help. Oikawa would be _devastated _if he actually ended up having an accident like that on the first day of their shared weekend together. Even through Iwaizumi would never ever judge him for something he had no control over, he knew how much it would mess with his friend’s self-image. The mere idea caused him to grimace. Hell, Iwaizumi wasn’t sure he could even _handle _that. He was absolutely terrible at consoling people.

After mulling about the lack of options for a few more seconds, he suddenly had an idea, even if Oikawa was probably going to hate him for merely suggesting it. Without further hesitation, he bent down to grab his backpack, digging through it for the empty water bottle he had forgotten to throw away after buying it in a discounter a week before. Luckily, it was still there, not exactly big, only able to hold half a liter at most, but it would do the job.

When Iwaizumi sat up again, Oikawa’s teary eyes met his in an instant. It only took a single glance at the bottle in Iwaizumi’s hands and instead of looking thoroughly offended and snapping at him, his face actually lightened up, eyes filled with a desperate longing. Iwaizumi couldn’t believe himself when Oikawa scrambled over all of sudden to snatch the bottle out of his hands, whimpering as he tried to uncap it with one hand and unzip his jeans with the other.

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan! I’m _so so_ sorry I have to do this in front of you, but I really can’t wait another second!”, he cried out, rambling as he struggled with the multitasking, only succeeding in getting his zipper halfway down but failing at the rest.

After getting over the shock of his friend actually being _eager_ to do something like that without having to be convinced first, Iwaizumi took the bottle from Oikawa’s trembling fingers, uncapped it with a swift motion and handed it back to him, just in time for Oikawa to line himself up with the narrow opening, not even turning away from him as he did. Iwaizumi felt heat flood his cheeks in no time and averted his eyes, trying to give his friend some resemblance of privacy.

Even though he refused to look at what was happening, the almost obnoxiously loud splattering noise told him everything he needed to know. Shortly after, Iwaizumi felt a heavy weight practically drop onto his shoulder as Oikawa _melted_ against him, panting and making blissful little noises that reminded Iwaizumi of other, less innocent things. It was ridiculous how _he_ was getting more flustered by all of this than Oikawa himself, but at least they were alone. This was something between the two of them only.

“Aahh, that was so close,” Oikawa whispered, shivering, eyes lidded and mouth hanging open in a spaced-out expression, when Iwaizumi tilted his head to take a look at his face. But then he was forced to look _down there_ as well, because Oikawa seemed to be so caught up in his relief, so _out of it,_ that he didn’t notice the bottle filling up way too quickly.

“You...might want to think about slowing down a little,” Iwaizumi said, not knowing how to word things without making the situation more awkward than it already was, but the bottle _was_ a little on the small side and it didn’t seem to be able to handle Oikawa’s...capacity. Oikawa just glared over at him with a disheveled “Are you fucking kidding me?”-expression before finally peering down at the bottle himself. The bottle he was just about to fill up to the top.

“Crap!”, he yelped again as he tried to frantically stop himself from going and from the sound of it, or the sudden lack thereof, he actually managed to do so, a high-pitched groan of displeasure escaping him as he did. Iwaizumi was impressed, but still had to cringe, both at the second-hand embarrassment and the notion of how difficult and outright painful it must have been to stop halfway through after needing to go like _that_. _Ouch..._

Just when Iwaizumi was sure that Oikawa was about to start complaining about still needing to pee, the train finally pulled in at their destination. Oikawa grumbled something under his breath, that ridiculous pout reappearing on his face as he was forced to put the bottle away and zip up again. Iwaizumi could see that he was still fairly uncomfortable with his brows furrowed in an almost comical way, and his hands clasped over the...well, almost spotless fabric covering his crotch. But at least it didn’t seem like “seconds away from losing control”-kind of bad anymore, so he would hopefully make it to the bathroom just fine.

Iwaizumi would just pretend he didn’t see how much of it was actually spilled on the floor...

\---

Five minutes later, and Iwaizumi was actually relieved for his own sake when they finally found a surprisingly clean bathroom at their last station. He wasn’t desperate by any means but the slight pressure in his lower abdomen was irritating enough for him to take the opportunity, even if he could have easily held it until they got home. It was impossible to _not_ want to go after witnessing whatever Oikawa did to that bottle.

“I swear, I’m never doing this again,” Oikawa breathed out, as he was still in full flow at one of the urinals after Iwaizumi had finished his own business to go wash his hands at the sink.

“I hope so,” Iwaizumi growled, rolling his eyes as he waited for his friend to finish, honestly impressed by how much he was still peeing after filling up a whole bottle on the subway. But even though Iwaizumi hadn’t expected their ride home to be that stressful, he wasn’t going to hold it against him. Forcing your body to do things it can’t handle and regretting it afterwards was something all athletes could relate to in some way, even though Oikawa was a bit of a special case.

“I’m just glad I didn’t do _that_ on the seat. You saved my life, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said once he had finished, and joined him at the sinks, a slight blush grazing his cheeks but otherwise not looking particularly embarrassed, “I really thought I was going to wet myself there.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t,” Iwaizumi replied dryly, turning off the tap to stick his hands under the blow dryer to warm them up, before he was going to wipe them on his jeans anyway, “It’s not a big deal. I won’t tell anyone about it, so let’s just forget it even happened.” Oikawa tilted his head at that offer, but eventually nodded. Being so desperate you had resort to peeing in a bottle less than five minutes before getting off your train must have been little embarrassing after all, even for someone as shameless as Oikawa.

\---

The walk home was fairly uneventful with Oikawa clinging to his arm, whining about his stomach hurting and Iwaizumi telling him to shut up and stop being a baby, which only led to more whining. But at least they were able to talk to each other normally again, bickering like an “old married couple” as Makki had called it one time, and just being themselves. Oikawa wasn’t panicking anymore, wasn’t as down as he surely would have been if he hadn’t “made it”, and Iwaizumi didn’t have to bend over backwards to rebuild his crushed ego. Everything was as fine as it could be.

\---

A few minutes later, they were settled on the couch of Iwaizumi’s flat with the tv running. Iwaizumi frowned at the screen where a woman was currently dissected by an alien, screaming in horror as the green-skinned thing tried to boil her head in hot water. He would never get used to Oikawa’s tastes in movies. And yet, the mere idea of them watching this old movie for the first time again after graduating high school made his heart swell a little. It was such a silly thought to have, but something about it was special, almost like looking at at a photo album with baby pictures.

“This is the best part,” Oikawa said for the third time that evening and crawled all over Iwaizumi under the heap of blankets, that he apparently _needed _to stay comfortable during a movie night, just to steal some of his chips. Iwaizumi batted his hand away but there wasn’t any force behind it. After pouting a little and calling him mean for not sharing, Oikawa withdrew his hand and scooted back to his side of the couch, curling up and staring at the screen as if he hadn’t seen that movie a hundred times before. But even through all the excitement, it didn’t take long for him to get drowsy and end up with his head on Iwaizumi’s shoulder, sighing in content as horrifying screaming noises were still coming out of the speakers.

About half an hour later, the credits were rolling and Iwaizumi finally turned off the tv by pressing the red button on the remote. Silence filled the room and it was all he needed after that day. He couldn’t help but think about everything that had happened between him and his best friend, everything they had talked about, the good and the bad stuff. Iwaizumi had known from the start, that being seperated after high school would take a toll on their relationship. It was an odd feeling to not be able to hang out as much as they did before. But in the end, they would just have to make the best out of it.

“I missed you too, you giant dumbass,” Iwaizumi eventually said to the sleeping roll of blankets next to him, hoped that the other man wasn’t eavesdropping on his cheesiness, and switched off the lights. Being friends with someone like Oikawa was a challenge in itself, but Iwaizumi wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is the unhappiest I've ever been with a fic before editing it about 100 times, but I put too much work into this to just let it rot in my documents. And I can check off my list for writing Oikawa omo, which is good. I love the dude and IwaOi too much.
> 
> Writing from outside perspective again was a challenge. It's harder than I remembered. But yeah, this works best with more outgoing, vocal characters like Hinata or Oikawa.


End file.
